From White House to Farm

From D.C. to N.J. to N.Z. to Cambodia

Christie Whitman retired from her post as Secretary of the
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) so that she could
spend more time with her family. Uh, huh. So, what will she
be doing for her summer vacation? New Jersey's ex-Governor
will be leaving her home state for the killing fields of
Cambodia to oversee their election process. Is this a new
foreign exchange program in which Cambodians will come to
Florida to oversee our election process?

Source story

Meanwhile, New Zealand dairy farmers are angry. They are
making a big stink about a new government tax plan.
Something smells funny "down under," and it's more than what
Bessie ate for her last meal. New Zealand has imposed a
flatulence tax on farm animals. Flatulence is the
politically correct word for "fart."

New Zealand's tax plan is incredible, but wait until you
read (at the end of this column) George Bush's connection to
Christie Whitman in Cambodia and New Zealand's solution to
an environmental crisis.

New Zealand Farmers will be paying 25 pounds ($14.63
American) for each cow and 3 pounds ($1.75 American) for
each sheep as a part of New Zealand's policy to combat
global warming. Methane gas from the animals' flatulence
accounts for more than half of all New Zealand's greenhouse
gas emissions.

Huh? A flatulence tax?

Now, that really smells bad!

NO SMALL CHANGE

At one time, the farthing was a coin used as currency in
Great Britain. Wouldn't it be appropriate to recall that
coinage for circulation in New Zealand to be used as payment
for this new tax? A fart-thing was equal to about 1/4 of a
penny.

Rather than stamp the likeness of New Zealand's Prime
Minister, Helen Clark, on the new coin (Helen's family owns
a sheep and cattle farm), they can appropriately stamp on
one side the head of a bovine, and on the obverse, the tail
of an ovine. That coin may very well become the world's most
prized collectible.

ANTI-GLOBAL WARMING MEASURE

Cows eat. Cows produce gas. Their flatulence emits methane
gas. Their urine produces nitrous oxide which adds to the
"Global Warming/ Greenhouse Effect." Add it all together and
each one of New Zealand's nine million dairy cows produces
189 pounds of methane gas per year. More of the same occurs
wherever farm animals are raised for human consumption.

THE SOURCE OF METHANE

Methane gas (C-H-4) makes the second biggest contribution to
global warming (carbon dioxide is number 1). The digestive
processes of cattle, particularly cows and sheep, is the
major source of methane emissions.

THE IMPACTS OF GLOBAL WARMING

America's Environmental Protection Agency predicts that
rising global temperatures will melt polar ice and raise sea
levels, change precipitation and other local climate
conditions, alter forests, decrease crop yields, threaten
human health, and harm birds, fish, and many types of
ecosystems.

All because of cow, sheep, and pig flatulence. There are
9.15 million cows in America and over 100 million cattle.
Ten billion farm animals will be slaughtered this year in
America. All must eat. We human consumers must logically
take responsibility for their indigestion.

TAXING PROBLEM IN AMERICA TOO

The 100 million American cattle each eat 80 pounds of feed
per day. They collectively produce 8 billion daily pounds of
body wastes. Some 280 million Americans eat 5 pounds per day
of feed, and produce 1.4 billion pounds per day of body
wastes. Cattle produce nearly 6 times the amount of body
waste as do humans. Human waste is processed in sewage
treatment plants. Cattle waste is released into America's
fields and streams.

Twenty billion pounds of methane gas from cattle?
Sniff...sniff...

And now, President Bush's connection to global warming and
methane gas emissions and Whitman's trip to Cambodia. You
see, Bush had no use for Christie continuing as head of EPA.
Her resignation was political. He no longer wanted her on
team-Bush. She did not really resign to spend time with
family. That was an expedient lie told to Americans.

The timing of her resignation creates a stench equal to all
of the world's flatulence. Next week, the EPA will release
its long awaited report on the state of the environment.

The EPA report was intended to provide the first
comprehensive look at the environment in 50 years. Global
warming and methane gas emissions were topics of
consideration.

The New York Times reported (page 1, June 19, 2003) that the
Bush White House has edited a "long section" of the report
describing risks from "rising global temperatures." The NY
Times criticized the Bush action after reviewing a copy of
the yet-to-be released report. Summing up the hatchet job,
the Times writer reports:

"...whittled down to a few noncommittal paragraphs."

On the other side of the world in Cambodia, Whitman will
attempt to prove that the Penh is mightier than the sword.
If asked about her lie that she resigned because she wanted
to spend more time in Jersey, or if asked whether her
resignation had anything to do with the censored EPA report,
my prediction is that Christie will turn Khmer Rouge in the
face.

Do you know of a friend or family member with one or more of these milk-related problems? Do them a huge favor and forward the URL or this entire file to them.